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BEHIND THE SONG WITH KEVIN DAVIS
#518 - "I'm Not Your Suicide" by Michael Sweet
The Stryper frontman talks about the title track from his new album, and about the very timely and personal subject matter that fuels it.
 


I first heard Michael Sweet's distinctive vocals when I was in high school, and Stryper's hit ballad "Honestly" was being played on mainstream rock radio and the music video for that song and "To Hell with the Devil" could be seen on VH-1 and MTV on a regular basis.

I wasn't saved at the time but I admit that their "yellow and black attack" against spiritual warfare and their band name got my attention, which is based on Isaiah 53:5 (NKJV): "But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed."

In the past 30 years, Michael Sweet has consistently made music that appeals to fans of classic rock with uplifting messages including touring as a vocalist for the band Boston and recording his own rendition of "Peace of Mind." After last year's Stryper album No More Hell To Pay, lead singer Michael Sweet is returning with his solo album, I'm Not Your Suicide, on May 6, with his own fresh mix of edifying rock songs that are meant to lift up listeners. I had the opportunity to interview Michael about his anti-bullying title track "I'm Not Your Suicide." 

Please tell me the personal story behind writing this song.

I co-wrote the song with Blair Daly. He lives in Nashville and has written a number of hit songs. I had the idea for the song and the riff and I went to his house and we completed it together. Where I am coming from in the lyrics are a number of points that I think about relative to this song.

First of all, when I was younger I moved a lot and went to 4 elementary schools, 1 junior high school and 4 high schools, and I was literally at a different school almost every year of my education. In doing so, I never really fit in. I was a thin, small kid with long hair and I never had a group of people to "hang out" with. I became a loner and had a reclusive personality. Because of that, I wound up being bullied a lot as a kid.

I had to figure out ways to dodge those bullies. Music really helped save me growing up. I went to a high school and I remember spending my time there trying not to get jumped by gangs. My friends did get beat up badly.

The song starts there with my firsthand experience of being bullied. Then, you fast forward to today and it breaks my heart when you turn on the news and you see or hear about someone who took their life because they were picked on for being different.

I hooked up with the organization ChildHelp who helps with child abuse and bullying. It breaks my heart to see someone take their own life because of what someone said or did to them. This song is ultimately about turning your life over to Christ and rising above the season that you are going through. It feels like an eternity but it is just a season. What you don't realize and may forget is what God has in store for us in the future. That's an incredible thing. We'll go on to be presidents and pastors and do amazing things and be amazing people who will make a huge impact on this world. For someone to think they aren't worthy because someone's picked on them and they take their lives is a tragedy. That's the story behind this song.

Which Bible verses connect to the message of the song? Do you have a life verse?

Jeremiah 29:11 (The Voice): 
For I know the plans I have for you," says the Eternal, "plans for peace, not evil, to give you a future and hope--never forget that.

Psalm 19:14: "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer."

Matthew 15:18: "But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man."

Luke 19:22 (NIV): "His master replied, 'I will judge you by your own words, you wicked servant! You knew, did you, that I am a hard man, taking out what I did not put in, and reaping what I did not sow?"

James 3:9-10: "With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be."

What is the takeaway message?

It is empowering and we all matter. In different ways, we don't all do the same thing and we're all individuals. God didn't create us all the same. We are each unique and special. We all matter and we are each a part of the puzzle of God's plans. We are all equally as important as the next guy.

Unfortunately the world we live in can rob you of that and make you believe otherwise. The enemy is obviously very talented at not only planting negative thoughts in our minds but also keeping them there. Once it becomes your mindset, it feels really hard and almost impossible to break. That's all the more reason why we need Christ. We really do.

All of His instructions and advice, which is perfect advice, the best advice, is in the Word of God. We all fail to read that and cling to that as often as we should. If we did, on a daily basis, our lives would be a lot easier. I'm a living example of a kid who at the time I was being bullied, I thought I was worthless. I didn't know what I would amount to, if anything.

Here I am and look at what God has done in my life, through me and in me. Looking back, I'm glad I never followed through with any of those thoughts of self-harm, but I could have. I went through it, but God miraculously pulled me out of it and planted new thoughts in my mind of what I was to become in the future. That I am worthy and that I have a life and a destiny to fulfill. Here I am, and I am living proof of that.

Lyrics:
They say that time can heal the pain, the scars
Forgive, forget -- that only goes so far
You were someone I opened my heart to
Till I asked you for help, you became someone else

I was sanctified - I used to feel justified
Only to be crucified, by you - by you
My life has just begun, I'm standing in the shining sun
I'm not gonna run and hide, lay down and die
No I'm Not Your Suicide

The stones you throw might bruise my bones, my skin
Reap what you sow, the truth will show in the end
I won't break under pressure - I wouldn't give you that pleasure

I was sanctified - I used to feel justified
Only to be crucified, by you - by you
My life has just begun, I'm standing in the shining sun
I'm not gonna run and hide, lay down and die
No I'm Not Your Suicide

Are you so pitiful that you want me to be?


The topic of bullying has started to come to the forefront of people's minds, especially in this age of technology and social media where people think that they can say whatever they want with no regards for how they might be making someone else feel.  There are some other songs about this topic, "Insecurity" by Jason Dunn, "Bully" by Shinedown, "Hey Bully" by Morgan Frazier, "Mean" by Taylor Swift, and "When You Do This to Me" by Chelsea Musick. 

Here are some statistics about bullying: 90 percent of 4th through 8th graders report being victims of bullying. 160,000 kids will not go to school from fear of being bullied. Seventy-one percent of children report incidents of bullying at their school. Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people, resulting in 4,400 deaths per year. For every 1 suicide among our young there are at least 100 suicide attempts. Over half of deaths by suicide are related to "bullying." (Source: "Hey Bully" by Morgan Frazier press release). Michael Sweet proudly supports the efforts of ChildHelp. (For more information click here.)

As a father of three young girls, my wife and I have tried to raise our daughters to have confidence that they "have been made in God's likeness." We've also taught them to not compromise their thoughts and values from peer pressure or make fun of other people, which is a tough balance we have as believers. We can all take strength in knowing that our Savior Jesus has promised us that the world will hate us because it hated Him first. The enemy attacks our minds and tells us we're not good enough and we'll never be good enough for Heaven. That's the trap is thinking that we can earn salvation. As Stryper's band name says, "by His stripes we are healed" and the only way to Heaven is a narrow road. Jesus said, "I Am the Way, The Truth, and The Life, and no one comes to the Father except through Me." (John 14:6-NKJV).

This song both musically and lyrically, has an empowering message and feel. That's been Stryper's ministry for 30 years, to empower listeners against spiritual warfare and to strongly proclaim, "To hell with the devil." Take comfort from God's Word in Jeremiah 29:11 (The Voice): "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Eternal, "plans for peace, not evil, to give you a future and hope--never forget that." Amen to that!

(Watch the music video here.)

NRT Lead Contributor Kevin Davis is a longtime fan of Christian music, an avid music collector and credits the message of Christian music for leading him to Christ. He lives in Pennsylvania with his wife and three daughters.

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