Carlos Whittaker: Still in [my father's] arms I find freedom and rest. But, the arms of Jesus multiplies that love by 100,000. I donít even comprehend how. But He does. (Photo: Carlos with son, Losiah)
Father’s Day brings so many emotions to so many people.
I had a wonderful father growing up. As you see on the cover art of my new single, my father is one amazing looking 1988 Panamanian man. That stache rules for days.
And to be honest…
That day, when I was 11 and had the Tiger Woods and Pete Sampras juvenile look on lock down, up until today in my 30′s, my dad, Fermin Whittaker has been one of the safest places I can go to. Still in his arms I find freedom and rest.
The arms of Jesus multiplies that love by 100,000. I don’t even comprehend how. But He does.
My son will have a slightly different view on Fathers Day.
You see, he is adopted from South Korea and we openly discuss that I am his father but he has another one too. And every so often I have a moment where my worlds collide.
Like the other day when I was playing with Losiah’s hair...
When I was messing with his hair that day, my heart took a left when I figured it would have taken a right. To the right would have been throwing him on the sofa and tickling him until he begged me to stop. To the left was that place I accidentally stumble into every few months.
That place that looks, tastes, smells and feels funny.
The last few strokes of his hair I imagined his father’s hair. It must feel similar to this. It must be light and wispy. I wonder, right now, if his fingers are running through his hair. But he’s probably wearing a hat. I wonder if his hands smell like the fish that he has been catching all day. I hope they do, or his day would have sucked. I wonder if they are more calloused than they were a year ago. I’m sure those nets are a pain.
I wonder if when he looks at them...he wonders about my sons.
And so I walked outside, looked up to the sky, and screamed... "He’s OK!!!"
When I walked back into the house I had this romantic thought that maybe...
Right before I looked up...
He got off his fishing boat...
And screamed.. "Is my son OK?!"
Then I looked at the clock and realized it was 2 am in Seoul.
I got sad for a second...that my dream was a joke...
Until I realized, he was probably dreaming of my son. Laying on his wispy hair.
And in that moment I realized that Father's Day is about so much more than one emotion.
It takes us to a place of realizing that whatever emotions come up we will always be brought back to the arms of the Father to find our rest.
I am going to mess up in raising my son.
My own earthly father wasn’t perfect in his raising of me.
And you may have had a father who continually hurt you over and over again.
But know this.
Our Father in heaven will provide us rest and refuge when the world does not.
So on this Father's day, find your rest in the Arms Of The Father.
Carlos Whittaker & Family
Posted June 12, 2012 | Carlos Whittaker is an artist, pastor, thinker, experience architect and Web 2.0 junkie. His new single, "In The Arms," is available now and "You Made A Way" is coming soon!