To be relentless.
To stay the course.
To persevere.
To run the race.
To not just go through the motions... but to live it... breathe it... seek Him... be relentless in my pursuit of Him... that is my desire.
It is funny that this seems to be the way I started off this year... and this is the way I am ending the year. It seems I have come full circle, right back to the same place I was just over 11 months ago. I wonder how that can be... how that is... why this has happened... and I have an answer.
God is relentless.
He pursues us even when we don't realize it. He leaves behind the 99 to find the 1 who is lost... who has strayed... who has taken a detour... who has gotten off track... and He brings them back into the fold. Unwilling that one of His should be lost... He is relentless in His pursuit.
Luke 15:3-4 (New King James Version)
3 So He spoke this parable to them, saying:
4 “What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost until he finds it?
Yet in His pursuit He is not overbearing... never burdensome... not too much to handle... and willing to gently handle us. He is gracious towards us as we tend to wander away, allowing us to go our own way... but for a while. And in this time He allows the trials to come so He can refine us in the fires... but these are fires that do not burn... but restore. Through the tribulations He teaches. Through the storms He builds faith. Through the consequences of our own choices He grows character in each of us... giving us a testimony to share with those who may find themselves in the same storm we were just in.
There is always purpose to what He does... what He allows... how He works... and the way He ties it all together... for the good of those who belong to Him.
Romans 8:28 (New King James Version)
28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
At times it seems to not make any sense. As we focus on the moment... God focuses on the lesson. As we see the trial... God sees the outcome. As we see failure, defeat, shame, or sorrow... God sees faith, victory, righteousness, and joy. As we see sins as crimson as blood... God cleanses us as white as snow.
If we could only get a glimpse of what He sees, how would that change the way we live?
Would we pursue Him more... or less?
Would we be more willing to wander away since we know He is full of grace? Or would we cling to Him... pursue Him... chase after Him relentlessly... as we understand more and more just what it is that He has done for us?
What are we willing to change... to let go of... to lay down at the foot of the cross of the one who laid down His life for us?
Nothing? Anything? Everything?
His relentlessness led Him to Calvary... the place where He allowed mere men to take His life... so that through His death... His death on the cross... and through His resurrection... His life can be found by us.
He purges us from all unrighteousness. He cleanses us from all sin. He blots out all of our transgressions. By His stripes we are healed.
Not because we deserve it... but because He is unwilling to lose us.
He forgives out of grace... He forgets out of mercy... He is relentless in His pursuit of us... He restores... He cleanses... He redeems... He heals... and he does it all out of His love for us.
Should we not also be relentless in our pursuit of Him... out of our love for Him?
And in turn forgive out of grace... forget out of mercy... and live a life of love out of the love He gave us?
I think so. Of course thinking so and doing so are 2 different things... but it is a step in the right direction. So be relentless in your pursuit of God. Run the race He has laid out before you...be willing to endure... to persevere... and strive for the prize of the upward call.
Philippians 3:13-14 (New King James Version)
13 Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, 14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
Fix your eyes on the Lord... stay the course... walk the path... you can do it.
Be unwilling to yield... unwilling to lose ground... unwilling to let go of the hem of His robe.
Be relentless.
Philippians 4:13 (New King James Version)
13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Over the last 34 months, I have often found myself marveling at how patient God is with us. I know that when I was baptized in January, I was asked to say something before they dunked me... and I said that I just wanted to thank God for His patience with me. It took me 31 years to come to my senses. He had given me 31 years worth of mornings... 31 years worth of days... 31 years worth of breath... before my eyes were opened to my need for Him. And I am eternally grateful for all of that. Especially when I consider what I was told by my doctor about how my life should basically be over. Yet here I sit, and here I type these words. And it is all due to His love and patience towards me.
And here I sit and wonder how many have had these same thoughts. Do we realize just how long He has waited for us to come to faith? How long He has waited for us to come to an end of ourselves? How long He has waited for us to be fed up with this life that the world has offered? And do we realize just how long and how patiently He has waited for us to just seek Him?
I think once we do come to understand this, we understand more about just how deep, how high, and how long His love is for us.
He doesn't have to wait for us. He doesn't have to sit and watch us make a mockery out of our lives. He doesn't have to sit and wait for us to come to the ends of our rope before we call out to Him. He doesn't have to give us one more day, one more chance, one more breath. But He does. Because out of the ashes He makes something beautiful. Out of the miry clay He molds us into the likeness of Christ. Even with all of the broken pieces of our lives, He is able to pick them up and put them back together again... even better than before.
When I ponder all of the wrong choices... as I think back on all the mistakes... as I wonder anew about how and why... why I am still here... He is my answer. For me, it was all the wrong choices, all of the mistakes, and all of the questions of why and how that led me to the cross of Christ. Out of all that has been bad in my life, all that went wrong... He made something good out of it. Even when I didn't even know it, and had no idea what would come of it... all of it led me to Him.
It all led me to Him, and it all shows just how patient He is with me. Long suffering is how David describes God to us, and to me, that is an understatement.
Psalm 86:15 (King James Version)
15But thou, O Lord, art a God full of compassion, and gracious, long suffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth.
He is patient...
2 Peter 3:9 (New International Version)
9The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
He is slow to anger...
Joel 2:12-13 (New International Version)
12 "Even now," declares the LORD,
"return to me with all your heart,
with fasting and weeping and mourning."
13 Rend your heart
and not your garments.
Return to the LORD your God,
for he is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and abounding in love,
and he relents from sending calamity.
Our God is all of these things so that we... all of us... are afforded the opportunity to repent, to seek Him, and be forgiven.
So easily He could just pass judgment on us as we are, where we stand, this very moment. Yet He does not. He waits... patiently. He relents from doing harm as He gives us time to turn to Him. In great mercy and love He gives us more time than we deserve. And for that, I am so grateful. Where would we be without His patience?
Even more dumbfounding to me at times is how He continues to show this patience with those who are His. As the passage above from Joel says... "Even now, return to me". To return to Him must mean that we have walked away from Him. And yet still He shows His patience towards us, as He waits for His prodigal sons and daughters to return home to Him.
One of the most moving pieces of scripture to me is found in the story of the prodigal son. And it comes when we see the father running to the son as the father sees him far off. Though he waits for the son to return to him... as soon as he gets a glimpse of him in the distance, he runs to him. That is the image of God our Father as He runs towards us as we walk that long road back to Him. Yes He waits patiently for us to come to our senses. Yes He waits patiently for us to decide to return to Him. But as soon as He sees us coming back in His direction... He runs to us.
Can you even believe that? But this is the portrait that Jesus is painting for us as He tells us this story. God Himself runs to us, His children, even after we have gone our own way. Because His love for us never fails.
Luke 15:20 (New King James Version)
20 “And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him.
How can you not love that. How amazing is it to just think that. That is how much He loves us.
There is another story in Luke 15 that amazes me over and over again. It is the parable of the lost sheep, which again to me, shows His patience with us. It shows His love for us. And it shows that He is willing to lose not even one of us.
Luke 15:3-6 (New International Version)
3Then Jesus told them this parable: 4"Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? 5And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders 6and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.'
Not only does He come looking for us when He needs to, when we have wandered for too long a time away from Him... but when He finds us, He rejoices over us, and He carries us home.
So He is willing to wait patiently for us to realize our need for Him. He is willing to give us the time it takes for us to decide to call on His name. He is willing to sit by and allow us to make mistake after mistake... and then when we cry out to Him, He is willing to pick up the pieces of our shattered lives and make something beautiful out of the mess we hand Him. And that is not the end of His patience with us as He will even allow us to walk away if we wish to. And after we walk away from Him, when we realize just how stupid that decision was, He waits for us to return to Him. And when He sees us coming back in His direction... He runs to us. And if we tarry too long... He comes to find us, because He will not be without us for long.
Just take a moment to think about that. If that doesn't boggle your mind... what will. The God of the Universe wants to be with you so bad, He comes to find you and bring you home. How awesome is that?
Romans 8:1 (New King James Version)
1 There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.
(a little foreword)
That is a powerful verse... an encouraging verse... is it not?
Yet so many of us fail to live in this verse. We so easily condemn others, we so easily condemn ourselves. This post is not about judging others, but judging ourselves. It was inspired by a friend of mine as we talked about our struggles. This unfortunately is a struggle for both of us... probably for many of us. Whenever a mistake is made, a sin against someone else, against ourselves, or against God... we are so quick to condemn ourselves. But this should not be. If God does not condemn us, who are we to do that job for Him. Judgment belongs to the one who sits on the throne, and that is not us.
Sin... condemnation... those 2 go hand in hand don't they. Those who will stand before God on the day of judgment in their own sin will be condemned. Those who stand before God, who stand in the Son, shall stand justified before Him. Praise the Lord, He is the God of redemption.
Yet I know that I find myself condemning myself every time I mess up, slip up, fall down, and sin. I am so quick to beat myself up, and in turn I become of no use to the cause of Christ. If I am so caught up in judging myself, I will by no means be able to do the work that the Lord has for me to do.
Now I am not suggesting that we become numb to sin, numb to our mistakes, and numb to the areas we need to work on with the Lord's help. What I am suggesting is that we take it for what it is, realize our mistakes, sins, shortcomings, and acknowledge all of it... but that we don't condemn ourselves as being failures. It is ok to be upset about sin in our lives, and we should feel upset over it... but if God does not condemn us for it, how or why could we? Should we be sorrowful over our sin, yes we should... but we need to be sure it is the right kind of sorrow.
2 Corinthians 7:10-11 (New King James Version)
10 For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death. 11 For observe this very thing, that you sorrowed in a godly manner: What diligence it produced in you, what clearing of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what vehement desire, what zeal, what vindication! In all things you proved yourselves to be clear in this matter.
To feel Godly sorrow over our faults, over our failings, over our sin... that is a natural byproduct of our love for Him. We don't want to keep making those same mistakes that we have been making. We don't want to let Him down. But what we fail to forget is that we have been cleansed. We have been justified before Him. We fail to remember that when God looks at us, He sees His Son, His Beloved. He knows all of our weaknesses, all of our shortcomings, all of our failures, and loves us anyway. He is the Author and Finisher of our faith, and the one who is doing the work within us... and it will be completed.
Our job is not to condemn ourselves and in turn make the cross of Christ void of it's power, but to follow His lead, and let Him do the work He has yet to do in us.
I know that for me, when I sin, I run from God. Like Adam in the garden, I try to hide my unworthy self from His presence. But that is just not possible... you can't hide from Him. Everywhere we go, He is there too.
Psalm 139:7-12 (New King James Version)
7 Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
8 If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
9 If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,”
Even the night shall be light about me;
12 Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.
So there is no hiding from God, yet I still try. There are moments when I feel like such a failure and unworthy of Him, that I reject the thought of picking up His Word due to my own unworthiness. But who am I to decide for myself, against what He has decided for me?
He alone is the one who justifies.
He alone is the one who redeems.
He alone is the one who cleanses from all unrighteousness.
He alone has decided to love me, even though I may feel unlovable.
And it is He that has given His Son so I could be free, so I could be forgiven.
So who am I to look up and point at Him and tell Him that He made a mistake?
His Word says there is no condemnation for those in Christ, yet we condemn ourselves over and over again. Why is that? And how do we get passed that?
Romans 8:12-16 (New King James Version)
12 Therefore, brethren, we are debtors—not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. 13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. 15 For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” 16 The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God,
How do we move past this... we live by the Spirit. We seek to live our lives by the Spirit and not the flesh, and if we make a mistake, give into temptation, and fall flat on our faces... We cry out, "Abba, Father... help me". We let Him pick us up, and dust us off... and we move on in Christ.
1 John 1:9 (New King James Version)
9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
He is a faithful God... and for us, sometimes it takes time for us to realize that. Thoughts flood our minds that maybe, just maybe this is the last time. We fall again and think that God can no longer possibly love us. But those are lies. His love is unbreakable, unchangeable, unstoppable, all consuming, never failing, and ever lasting. That is who He is, and that is what He offers us.
Jeremiah 31:3 (New International Version)
3 The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying:
"I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with loving-kindness.
Psalm 103:17-18 (New International Version)
17 But from everlasting to everlasting
the LORD's love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children's children-
18 with those who keep his covenant
and remember to obey his precepts.
In His love for us He asks us to just come back to Him, and talk to Him... to reason with Him, and He will cleanse us.
Isaiah 1:18 (New International Version)
18 "Come now, let us reason together,"
says the LORD.
"Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool.
So when we sin, when we make a mistake, when we fail before Him... He invites us to just come back and be cleansed... Even now says the Lord... even now... after all you have done, His love for you has not changed.
Joel 2:12-13 (New International Version)
12 "Even now," declares the LORD,
"return to me with all your heart,
with fasting and weeping and mourning."
13 Rend your heart
and not your garments.
Return to the LORD your God,
for he is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and abounding in love,
and he relents from sending calamity.
We don't need to condemn ourselves. We don't need to try and hide from Him. We don't need to beat ourselves up, and nor do we think to need that we have pushed His love to the breaking point. His love abounds towards those who are called by His name. So live loved, and rest assured, and know that He is God and you are His. No matter how many times you fall flat on your face, He will be there to lift you up off that floor with a nail scarred hand and compassion in His eyes.
When I think of all the times I have sinned against God... I can't understand why or how He could forgive me. It just doesn't compute in my mind. I can't fathom a love so great... mercy so great... or grace so abundant, that I can be forgiven. I can't comprehend how a just and righteous God could overlook my many sins. Crimes against Him have been committed, a penalty must be paid. He says that this is so. He says that blood must be spilt. A life must be taken.
So one was taken. But not mine.
It boggles the mind when I think about these things. When I think upon just how amazing this love is. As I sit back and get lost in my thoughts of how... of why... I am just dumbfounded. Awed by the amazing grace the He offers. Floored by the all encompassing mercy He shows towards me. Lil old me... He loves lil old me that much. He loves you... that much.
That is why my heart is grieved as I sin against Him now. As I understand more clearly what He did for me. As I begin to see through the veil at His majesty... His Majesty. When I read about the day my savior died... and I read about how God the Father tore the veil in the temple as His Son's life gave way... I am heart broken. Heart broken at the ultimate sacrifice that was offered for me. And heart broken by the fact that this is what it took for that veil to be torn... for the door to be opened.
Matthew 27:51 (New King James Version)
51 "Then, behold, the veil of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom; and the earth quaked, and the rocks were split..."
When we read about this, it was not by accident... not by chance that this veil was torn. You see... it was torn from top to bottom. There are historical accounts as to the thickness of the veil... and some say it was 4 inches thick. Also... It may have been as tall as 60 feet. So in other words... it was not humanly possible to rip this veil. It was God Himself who tore that veil in 2.
What is the significance?
The veil signified the division between us and God. In the temple the veil stood between the inner courts and the Holy of Holies... the inner sanctuary where God's presence would reside. Only the High Priest could enter the Holy of Holies... and only once a year. Once a year the High Priest would go in and offer sacrifices for the atonement of all of Israel's sins.
But on this one day... God changed all of that. No more would man be separated from God. No more would this veil be in place. We would have open access to the throne of grace. Forevermore we would have a High Priest who will stand at the right hand of the Father and intercede on our behalf. On this one day in history... at this one moment... the doors to heaven were forever opened to us.
We are told by the writer of Hebrews that we can now go boldly before the throne of grace... with confidence... and at any time.
Hebrews 4:16 (New King James Version)
16 Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
How is this possible? Why is this possible? Because of Jesus... our Great High Priest.
Hebrews 4:14-16 (New King James Version)
14 Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. 15 For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Again... I am awed by this. To have open access to the God of creation... at any time, for any need... how can we not be awed by this.
To know now what it took... to understand more clearly what it cost... to believe that this was the only way... how do we respond to that?
His life for ours... it doesn't really seem fair now does it. Yet willingly the Word became flesh. Willingly the Son bore our shame. Willingly He stepped out of Glory and into this mess we call life. He gave everything He had... so we could have everything He had. Think about that.
Philippians 2:5-8 (New King James Version)
5 "Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, 7 but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross."
Why did He do all of this?
Love.
Love for you. Love for me.
A never ending... never failing... unconditional... unimaginable... perfect love.
It was the only way. The only way... built by His hands... paved with His blood.
That is why I must agree with the words of the Apostle Paul...
1 Timothy 1:17 (New International Version)
17 Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen.
And I sing with the Angels...
Revelation 5:12-13 (New International Version)
12 In a loud voice they sang:
"Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain,
to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength
and honor and glory and praise!"
13 Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, singing:
"To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb
be praise and honor and glory and power,
for ever and ever!"
Amen!!!!
I leave you with one song this time... it is a favorite of mine. Enjoy it and be blessed.
It would be nice if life was nothing but sunshine and rainbows(without the rain). It would be nice if every obstacle in our path moved itself out of the way when we come on through. It would be really nice if sickness never came knocking at our doors, but went on down the block to the politicians home and knocked there... just kidding. It would be nice if this life was just fair... is that too much to ask?
But, this life will never be those things. Even for those in the faith, for those walking with the Lord... we will never see these things this side of heaven.
This walk ain't easy.
So why do so many expect it to be? It was never promised to us that this life would ever be easy... or pain free... or full of happiness, never seeing a bad day.
What was promised was His faithfulness to us; never will He leave or forsake us... ever.
Further more, we were promised His joy in the midst of our pain. We were promised His strength in our moments of weakness. We were promised His grace in our moments of compromise... of sin. We were promised His presence in our moments of despair. We were promised His uncompromising, uncomprehensible, unchanging, never failing love in our moments of need. We were promised free access to the throne of Grace and Mercy, through the door of the only begotten Son... whenever we needed to go before it.
And ultimately, we were promised a day when all these moments of heartbreak will be no more. Never again to hurt... physically or emotionally. Never again to shed a tear of agony, or know the sting of rejection. Never again to feel the loss of love, for He is love, and will always be with us.
But, until that day we must walk this walk, and seek Him and long for His coming. Even in the midst of our grief, our sorrow, our turmoil, our desperation, He is still the God of all grace... and His grace is sufficient. And nothing... nothing at all... can change that. No matter how big and powerful the storm is, or how big the waves are... Our God saves... and nothing, nothing at all can change that.
The question is, how much do we believe that?
How willing are we to seek Him above all even in our lowest moments?
For me, this has been one of my toughest challenges. To seek Him in a low moment, when I feel unworthy and unclean before Him. My natural reaction is to run away and hide, just as Adam and Eve did in the garden. Then after I run and hide, I will isolate myself and dig a hole in the corner hoping no one notices.
And all along, I have had it all backwards. At our lowest, we need to run to Him. At our highest, we need to run to Him. And at all moments in between, we need to run to Him. For His mercy and grace when we are in need. To praise and worship Him when all is right. And to just be near Him at every moment, no matter the circumstances. Good or bad, high or low, mountain top or valley below... our place is with Him.
Yet unless we keep walking with Him on the path He has laid out before us, these things we will never learn. It is so easy to get tripped up, and be led astray. It is so easy to fall, and lose our bearings... only to wind up lost and wandering around right back where we started. Luckily for us we belong to the Good Shepherd, and He won't let us wander long. He will come for us. He will search high and low until He finds us, and He will carry us back to where we belong. But a lesson will be learned, and most likely it will hurt in one way or another.
All in all, walking this walk, learning to submit and to obey, learning how to hear Him above all the noise... have been the hardest things I have ever tried to do in my entire life. It has not been easy. Far from it. At times I feel like I am on a roller coaster, one second on top of the world only to be flung through a loop and wind up back at the bottom again. But I am grateful for all of it, and it is so very worth it.
To know the peace of God. To know His love. To know His mercy. To know His joy. To know His presence. All these are priceless. There is nothing that compares. Nothing that can take away from it. And nothing that can keep us from it if we will only seek Him. Nothing can separate us from Him...
Romans 8:38-39 (New International Version)
38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
He will strengthen us in times of need... we have no need to fear...
Isaiah 41:10 (New King James Version)
10 Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’
He will fight for us, He will fight with us, every step of the way...
Joshua 1:9 (New King James Version)
9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”
Deuteronomy 20:4 (New International Version)
4 For the LORD your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory."
So whatever we face in this life, on this path, He is with us... always...
Matthew 28:20 (New International Version)
20and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
So we continue on... heads high... steady pace... along the path He has given us, and no matter what we come across, or what storm comes rolling in, we stand strong... For He is with us. It may not be easy... and won't be a walk in the park, but it will be worth it.
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