On Sunday after church, as our church shared a meal together and discussing Facebook, I heard a dad comment, in front of his 9th grade teenage daughter, that he had seen his daughter's profile and either knew her password or had looked at her profile when she had forgotten to log out. I also remember reading a local Christian publication in which a teenage wrote to a columnist, a local pastor, and commented that his parents had installed some type of internet program that enabled them to read the emails that he sent. The pastor was in favor on this program and stated that he thought the parents should keep these measures in place. I was incensed when I read the pastor's response and seriously considered writing him a letter, however I didn't and now I regret it. I'm a recent college graduate so obviously it's been some years since junior high and high school, yet oftentimes I still relate to and resonate with issues that teenagers are going through and this was definitely the case in this situation. I thought back to my high school years and the emails that I sent to my friends. Those emails were a safe haven for me to process life and develop friendships. I had a hard enough time trusting my parents during my teenage years and if I had discovered that they had read my journals or gone through my email account, the little trust I had in them would've been shattered. Of course, this is all in perspective because I obviously lack adolescent children of my own and perhaps I will feel differently when I reach that stage in life, however I am close enough to this teenage girl's stage in life to understand her frustration with them viewing her facebook profile and doing whatever other snooping they were doing.
Parents need to understand limits. Yes, they need to watch their teenagers as it's a slippery time in life with many dangers, but I would have had to censor my emails if my parents were to read them, not that they contained inappropriate material, simply that my parents had not earned my trust for those inner aspects and thoughts to be revealed to them. I don't know the solution to the tumultuous teenage years, and let me tell you, I definitely gave my parents grief, but I see some parents approaching it the wrong way and I just want to tell them, excuse me, but that's not going to work. Talking in front of your kids is another issue that I wish parents would cease. You know, your kids have ears, even if you think they're not listening, or if you don't care what they hear you say, but badmouthing or complaining about your kids to other parents with your kids in hearing distance is not appropriate. It also causes, at least for me, the teenager to also distrust the other adults since that will simply be another person who doesn't understand their life. Do teenagers a favor; be there for them in life and don't always be passing judgment because they have enough grief and don't need home and family to be another threat in life.
July 08, 2008, 14:13PM
wow you really know how to right down your feelings huh? well i totaly agree with you on this subject. i have parents who are very strict and though they havent gone that far my step mom had read my journal which really irritated me. so yeah.
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