The Best of My Twitter, or What You've Been Missing Pt. 2 Category: Misc Thoughts Views: 41
Wow, since the last best-of I have over a thousand Tweets now, and I'm milking it for all I can. Reading over my past words, I realize what a random and witty person I am, which is terrible since I only have 114 followers, the majority whom are spammers. But thanks for the NRT people that do follow me at Twitter.com/jeremymlucas
#MyWeakness My dashing good looks, my perfection, women and their mad attraction towards me... It's a blessing, and a curse
8:53 PM May 29th from TwitterFon
If Robert Pattinson played a zombie would the ladies still like him? I'm thinking not... Zombies don't look good on lockers or posters...
8:31 PM May 31st from web
I'm thinking of creating a Twilight parody called Midnight... Instead of Vampires there's Zombies... Hoping to get Robert Pattison for it
10:11 PM May 31st from web
Girl meets boy (played by either Robert Pattison or Andy Samberg), boy turns Zombie, girl marries Zombie who still feels love for her &...
10:14 PM May 31st from web
Final twist: Zombie sucks his lover's brain out... This turns her into a Zombie, & they live happily ever after... It's better than Twilight
10:17 PM May 31st from web
Miley Cyrus plays the girl who falls for the boy that turns into a Zombie... Couldn't you see her playing a Zombie?
10:21 PM May 31st from web
Mystery of the Day: My iTouch has deserted me... I don't know why... Was it something I said?
12:04 PM Jun 3rd from web
I did find my iTouch today... It played The Fray's "You Found Me" as the first song on shuffle... Note: I took dramatic license just then...
1:56 AM Jun 4th from TwitterFon
Fact: Running outside with your shirt on or off while it's pouring rain is totally awesome... It makes me feel like I'm ALIVE!!!
3:46 PM Jun 4th from TwitterFon
I come up with most of my great ideas while running.. Only problem is I'm too busy to write it down & I've forgotten it by the time I'm done
12:13 AM Jun 5th from TwitterFon
I'd equate it to the Libary of Alexandria burning down everytime I take a cooldown lap... Mankind is losing so many songs & story ideas.. :(
12:33 AM Jun 5th from TwitterFon
My idea for Titanic 2 that took 12 years to come up with: Rose gets on another boat with her husband, and it sinks...But they live...
12:57 AM Jun 7th from TwitterFon
Titanic 2: There's no love story & it's almost pure action... If anybody survived the sinking, the boat would be the Lusitaina...
1:00 AM Jun 7th from TwitterFon
Titanic 2: Or how about German terrorists take over the boat and try to crash it on cruise control... Wait, that's been done already...
1:01 AM Jun 7th from TwitterFon
Titanic 2: Miley Cyrus sings the heartbreaking song & Robert Pattinson plays Rose's husband... Kate Winslet comes back
1:05 AM Jun 7th from TwitterFon
I could be a working class hero if I actually worked... Wait, that might make for a good song... Hmmmm...
9:49 PM Jun 8th from web
Swine Flu is SO Spring 2009... Let's catch a new fashionable disease... How can it be a pandemic if I haven't heard about it in weeks?
9:38 AM Jun 11th from TwitterFon
I'm currently writing a song called "The Happiness Diet." It's about breaking the dietary restrictions of life... I'd think it's original...
11:39 PM Jun 11th from web
Fact: Sprite, not alcohol, heals all wounds... Especially in those relating to the heart & stomach.
2:43 PM Jun 12th from TwitterFon
Fact: You should never eat salami that's been sitting in a warm car for 5 hours...
3:12 PM Jun 14th from TwitterFon
It was all I had left, It was the last thing to do, It was then I realized I wasn’t nearing the edge, I was nuking the fridge
12:06 AM Jun 17th from web
What is more boring than watering plants? Tweeting about watering plants... Which I just did...
12:56 PM Jun 22nd from TwitterFon
I agree... It's suspiciously watching us... Waiting... Plotting... RT @mileycyrus: The moon is just not on our side.
1:46 AM Jun 26th from TwitterFon
Fact: 91% of audiences who saw Transformers 2 said it was as good, if not better than the first... In your face stuffy movie review critics!
12:13 AM Jun 30th from TwitterFon
Kevin Jonas is getting married... I can hear the teenage girls bailing out already... & how can you still have dignity at 21 in that band?!?
6:22 PM Jul 1st from TwitterFon
If your music sounds good in demo quality, you have something there... If your music only sounds good in studio, then you have a problem...
7:28 PM Jul 3rd from TwitterFon
If the latter is the case I suggest a career change cause you'll never be great & if you can't be great, why do it? You're cheating yourself
7:33 PM Jul 3rd from TwitterFon
Fact: According to the movie "Independence Day," aliens do not have anti-virus software... And they call us inferior!
9:58 PM Jul 5th from TwitterFon
I tend to agree, it's just so overhyped RT @cyanideandcandy: Nothing Personal, but I think that love is overrated.
12:49 AM Jul 7th from TwitterFon
I just ate a sandwhich that tasted like it was dunked in soap beforehand... That's what you get for buying bread at seedy grocery stores...
11:55 AM Jul 11th from TwitterFon
Facebook was made for college students & now it's the newest activity night at the senior citizens home...
12:29 AM Jul 12th from TwitterFon
I also hate it when the only people commenting on your Facebook updates are your dad's friends or your grandmother...
12:30 AM Jul 12th from TwitterFon
Fact: Rust is bad. Because of rust eating a 30-year old drain, I will have no lake in my front yard in the morning... This is very sad :'(
7:43 PM Jul 14th from TwitterFon
To ward away singles ads on Facebook I listed myself as "In A Relationship." Yes, ladies, I'm in love with myself, but I'm still here for u.
9:57 PM Jul 15th from web
I just found a website tool that said my Twitter was 77% straight in terms of the gayness of the words I use.
1:20 PM Jul 16th from web
If I list myself as a girl, I'm 80%, but the difference is made up when you consider that I had to list myself as a girl to get that result.
1:22 PM Jul 16th from web
I have a 1000 Tweets! Thx to my followers & haters, You fuel me! RT @AP11_EAGLE: THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN, ONE GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND.
10:16 PM Jul 20th from TwitterFon
Don't you hate that strip of sticker that seals the top of albums? RIP Finger Nail with @LaurenConrad's face painted on it... :(
12:26 PM Jul 23rd from web
For being an aspiring writer/journalist, I sure do get writer's block a lot... Or am I just lazy? Hmmm...
6:32 PM Jul 25th from TwitterFon
I'm pretty sure God eats pop tarts for breakfast... Not too sweet, not too bland & just the right amount of tastfulness & energy...
10:10 AM Jul 26th from TwitterFon
He also keeps some fiber/organic cereal on hand, as well as donuts for those times when you just want to feel healthy or splurge....
10:12 AM Jul 26th from TwitterFon
When God really wants to shake things up, he eats a chocolate donut dipped in the fiber/organic cereal... That's living on the wild side...
10:15 AM Jul 26th from TwitterFon
If knowledge is power, the Internet is full of useless power, which isn't even power at all, because it's useless...
1:55 AM Jul 27th from TwitterFon
After watching 'Spinal Tap' for the first time ever, my Tweets now go to 11. They were at 10 & I could make 10 higher, but this goes to 11.
12:59 PM Jul 27th from TwitterFon
Let's hope it's not by asteroid! RT @mileycyrus: This has been THE LONGEST DAY of all history :( ughh I'm so ready for it to end.
about 8 hours ago from TwitterFon
Wow, I'm both witty and unstable. You know what that means? I'm irresistible.
art10's Blog 
